Just as i tot everything is running smoothly.

I hate it! Hate it when I've planned everything nicely and it just took 1 irritating idoilt to ruin it!! *Bastard* Fuck lar... for goodness sick. give me some peace pls.

I totally HATE MY JOB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


P.s: If you think i need your bloody symphty.. you were wrong! you used to be the one i will look for whenever i need a shoulder to cry... let me reapet... I USED TO!!! but not now. I shared coz u asked... not because I was eager to tell you so. and please if you dun wish to listen dun ASK!!! For goodness sick. DUN ASSUME PLS!!!!

"congratzs on the fucked up feeling...aint lifes a bitch"

30 July 2009...

Met Jamie at Tampines interchange at 12.30... took the MRT and guess wad..?? dun know where to go...?!?!?! hahhahah so we decided to go fer a "cheap" shopping .. (like real) and Bugis it is...!! had lunch at MOS Burger then start walking... We brought quiet a lot of thing. This is when the phrase "Shop till u drop" come in.. huhahahh.... While shopping , husband called to say that Ija just gave birth. I was so happy and excited to see the baby! By then the both of us were exhausted. could take it any more. Hands are full with shopping bads.. and feet are crying.. so we sat at Starbuck and wait fer husband to pick us up to KKH.

30 July 2009 the day Mohamed Shariff Danial was born. The he is sooo lovely!! I was so happy to see husband carry him and guess wad?!? Danial gave husband the best gift... He pooed on him.. hahahah sooo funny!!! and I was so happy, coz im the 1st person to clean his smelly butt!! heheh. Husband got the shit and i got to clean him.. till today.. i am still smiling... HAppy.. very very happy!! Afterthat, met mabok at his werk place and had supper at simpang bedok!

On our way back home.. i had this mix feeling.. happy and sad. Happy coz i have additional nephew and Sad coz... "when is my time" I shared this feeling with husband and he say.... "hero always the last one!!" I smile and kept quiet!!

Gtg.. time fer werk.. cahoz..!!

Hard decision...

These few days zizi is behaving differently. I think he's sick. he refuse to eat.. whenever i pass by him to grab my towel.. he will stood in front of his cage and look at me. When i feed him his favorite treats.. he refused. Is he really very sick?? When i talked to husband about zizi he said... "maybe it's time to give him away" I was stunt! speechless.. It's painful. I think before it's too late.. It will be best for me to him more attention. Even tho chinchilla dun really need attention, but i believe he's depriving fer some. Im still in dilemma.... should i give him away?

I'm not strong!

I admit i been keeping this fer too long. how i wish it's easy. how long more do i have to wait till it happen?!?!? Yesterday.. we went plaza sing to do some home shopping. while walking around, one shop just caught my eyes... it's "Mother Care" shop. I can't resist it anymore.. so husband brought me in... there we saw loads of pretty stuffs. I just love it... can u tell me how long more i have to wait?? It's been 3 cycle of my fertility pills but nothing.. NOTHING happen?? I have another appointment this 20 July to see my gyne. I almost gave up! but my strong insting kept on tell me.. tis is not the end. I have to be strong, be strong to go thur these. It's painful......

Another thing that i wanna admit. I dun know why nowadays i'm feeling very insecured. I dun know why. It's not tat i dun trust you but i dun know. im scared.. im so scared i will loose you one day. I know u love me... but im so scared that the words that came from you is just a word and didnt mean anything.

I'm a good faker... I can fake my way out to be the happiest girl on earth. but deep down in my heart.. im terribelly sad.

I need to talk to sumone that understand and willing to lend me their shoulder fer 5 mins to cry it all out. will you be there fer me...?????