I'm not strong!

I admit i been keeping this fer too long. how i wish it's easy. how long more do i have to wait till it happen?!?!? Yesterday.. we went plaza sing to do some home shopping. while walking around, one shop just caught my eyes... it's "Mother Care" shop. I can't resist it anymore.. so husband brought me in... there we saw loads of pretty stuffs. I just love it... can u tell me how long more i have to wait?? It's been 3 cycle of my fertility pills but nothing.. NOTHING happen?? I have another appointment this 20 July to see my gyne. I almost gave up! but my strong insting kept on tell me.. tis is not the end. I have to be strong, be strong to go thur these. It's painful......

Another thing that i wanna admit. I dun know why nowadays i'm feeling very insecured. I dun know why. It's not tat i dun trust you but i dun know. im scared.. im so scared i will loose you one day. I know u love me... but im so scared that the words that came from you is just a word and didnt mean anything.

I'm a good faker... I can fake my way out to be the happiest girl on earth. but deep down in my heart.. im terribelly sad.

I need to talk to sumone that understand and willing to lend me their shoulder fer 5 mins to cry it all out. will you be there fer me...?????