It's not as easy as it could be...

4 months ago i lost my uncle, Tengku Abdul Rahman bin Tengku Chik 3 days ago i lost another uncle Tengku Samsudin Bin Tengku Chik. It's another huge blow for dad and some how rather I could feel it. Dad is being very very strong to keep his feeling behind him.
I lost 2 of my favorite uncles. both of them love me so much. But now.. they are gone. not for a day or two but forever... I hope I've done enough for him, by arranging his funeral but that can't be compared by how he loved me. Since i was born, everyone say i looked like him.. till now they still say the same thing. Well i guess other then his son, the only person that looked and behave like him is Me... Dad's still talk to husband the same old things... "leha mcm pak busu dier.. tak pernah hidup susah, happy je.." but deep down in our heart no one knows... Arwah pak busu death can never be forgotten.
All i can do now is to doa kan pak busu n pak ahsim before i went to bed. Till today, when ever i tot of them.. my lips will mumble the prayer for them.
I called my busu to let her know that she's not forgotten. Keep on tell me, I'm the sadest person the other day and she could see that. And she told me not to forget them especially my little cousin.. "leha jgn lupa mak busu eh? sekali sekal call mak busu and adek.." and i just burst into tears... Insyallah... i will hold my promise.
It took me so much courage to blogg this out. It's hard for me to express it or speak it out. all i could do is to blog it out.
Inyallah.. i will be pray as mush as i could for pak busu....
I miss my pak busu... May you rest in peace (amin)

Be Part of everyone like us!

Here's song by bum and it's been playing in the radio (89.7)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U_R0rXl6fRw
There u go.. hear it, feel it and enjoy it...

Im in the office since 8.30am. Husband send me to werk, he park his car here and Zul fetch him. Husband gotta new project (thanks mabok for tat).

Yesterday was a tiring day fer me. It's my sister in-law majlis nikah at my hse. Being the host is not tat easy after all. But everything went fine. I would like to say thank you to my Family :
1. Bum for the BEAUTIFUL make... and she really did a great job!
2. JAmillah for being a great make artist guidance, the beautiful photographs u took and the pretty DIY berkat.
3. Along for loaning her beautiful brooch and selendang and the touch up of the tudung
4. Mama and abah for supporting me by coming for the majlis
5. Kai for the yummy muffins
6. Abg Acit for coming and say the food were yummy. and his fav were the honey wings :)
When u read all the above. that shows that i have a very supportive and talented family.. LOL!!
I really LOve my family so must.....

After the majlis end at 4.00pm yesterday, we (husband n I) immediately clean the house. I just find it unfair! both of us werk werking super hard and SOME ppl just SIT! Some ppl were SLEEPING! Some ppl just EATING!! WFT!!
I was literary pissed off yesterday. During the ceremony i just can't SIT down peacefully. as usual my MIL is being IRRITATING! commanding me here and der, wad the F!@# is my SIL is doing?!?! she happily sleeping in the room! N.B!
after cleaning, we head down to TTH to visit husband grandmother. I really think she's really ill, but SOME ppl say, she can't let go of sumting! WFT! it's all CRAP!!! poor old women lying on the bed and being accused!

ok.. i got enough of it and now... it's time to do werk.. heheh.

i'm in a very pissed off mood right now.

This first regatta is a mess!! sum1 handling this even is an ultimate SPIDER! chill man!! this is a small event... there's no need to be spiderish. in June.. that spider will be worst then this and im sure she will... LOL! Im so prepare

This morning, was settling some issue with this parent. he's snot happy with few thing and he call me.. NAMES!! Stupid, Idiot... well, of coz i pissed off when he call me names but i kept my cool very well i guess. until he puts down the phone.. i stared cursing at him.. KNN, KNS< href="mailto:!@#$%^&*!@#$%^&@#$%">!@#$%^&*!@#$%^&@#$%^&*(...... urgh!@! We are a service provider and that dosen't me u have all the right to say such things to me... BASTARD!!
over all.. im fine... totally fine... just used to it.. hahah

Today, my MIL is SLEEPING over my castle. haiz... Im doing this just for u husband. just go with the flow.... there sumting going on tmr at my place and tat's the reason why MIL and FAMILY sleeping over.. (Urghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh) chill jal.. just go with the flow...

My Ouh My...

My back is killing me...!! I think i strain my lower back. I guess it's due to the rowing from the gym yesterday. <<>>

I dun noe why, but today im NOT IN THE MOOD TO DO WERK!!! aarrghhh!! i dun noe why. Could it b im not feeling well or my back hurts or deprive of sleep. Hmm.. cannot be my sleep coz i slept at 11 last night. Haiz.. i seriously dun noe why. but still, i just wanna shut my eyes now.

Yesterday i read a magazine and they wrote tis : STOP RETAIL Therapy! hahaha how can a shopaholic stopped that coz we been using that as our lame reason to shop.. LoL!
Speaking of which... Hmm, i dun noe when i should change my wallet. today? tmr? nexr week?!? i dunnoe...

Last night at mama hse was fun.. we (the 4 sisters, husband & khai) crushed in along's room to watch Karaoke gerek!! hahah... how fun!

jal is so craving for the most unhealthy fruit... DURIAN!!!!

I Hate to WAIT!!!

When im freaking BZ.. he's early, when im free and dun feel like werking he arrives late. WTF!

urgh.. today I super duper troper no mood to werk.

I hope to take full day off Tmr and Wednesday but... haiz.. I dun think i can make it.

Tmr n Wed, im taking half day. Got to be at Parkway by 2.00pm fer our lawyer appointment. and Wednesday, 2.30pm KK appointment. and guess wad?? I GOT TO WERK this weekend! suckz! and next weekend too!! arrrggghHHh!!!

Yesterday was fun, and i've up loaded pixz in the face book :)

Rohaizan brough his pussy to the office today and her name is.. Missy.. heheheh poor pussy, she's sick!

Not too bad...

overall, yesterday issn't a bad day after all. I had quiet a lot of fun, even tho we didnt celebrate V'day.

Firstly congrats to Hady & Liza. May u both bless with loads of kid.. (insyallah)
Went to Bedok fer hady wedding. There I met, Ain & Zul... the lovely couple. Watched hardy nikah, eat den headed down to TEnty's daughter's birthday party @ PAsir Ris Park.



Secondly, Happy Birthday to Ni'matul Ain.
I really enjoy watching kids playing games and have load of fun. How i missed my childhood days.
Loads of happy kids...


Thirdly, Happy engagement to Kai & Iril.
Went over to kai's hse at tamppines blk 800 plus. den, we lepak at his blk and looked at his R1 bike.. wow!! while chatting, at the opposite blk, i saw 2 familiar faces and 2 familiar bikes.. hahha but im sure they didnt see me.

lastly, we went prawing wit abg As and his frends. Reached home at 3.00pm. washed up and Zzzzz.....
before i went to sleep last night, i tot about it... my day yesterday was filled with kids ard me..
could this be a good sign??


And as fer today...

I rushed down to mama hse coz... there's baby at mama's hse... he is sooooo CUTE!!!!! basically, it's my aunt's son. hehehehe

Next.. Im heading to my nephew hse later..!! hehehhe I miss my nephew sooo much...

Alrite.. will update about my nephew later or maybe tmr... ;)

Woke up at 9.30am

yesh i noe, it Saturday and why the hell i got up so early.. this is because, exercises make u feel fresh! haah... trust me.. it worthy! other then u are able to wake up early everyday, u will feel good at werk and of coz.. u will feel healthy!! Im in love with beef salami sandwich!!

Happy Valentine's Day everyone!
husband got up at 11am, the moment he opened his eyes... i asked fer my prezzy. and guess wad he says??
"nah! here.. im ur present..!" and i scream... "BORING!!!!" hahahah
anyway.. honestly.. i never expect him to give me anyting..! even tho he did promise me this year... to celebrate all important occasion. eg.. my b'dae, v'day, anniversary..
but wad the hell.. Promises are meant to be BROKEN!!! im just used to it!

owrity.. got to get ready fer jempotan later.. bye!!

p.s: did i ever say that i LOVE bum's SONG? and been listening everyday?!?
hahah

Just Got Back!!

Yeah, went to my COE Birthday Bash at his Apartment. Had load of fun with my co-workers, joking and laughing. (gonna add in photo pretty soon. I dun noe why but looks like i can't upload pix fer now) to view photos.. log on to Face book!!

Left his place at 9.00pm, meet bum at Saffron had supper chit chat n laughing AGain!!
Looking forward fer the next meet up with Herman n Yani again!! heheheh

This weekend gonna a be a buzy day!!
Satuday :
Husband's fren wedding,
Husband's fren engagement,
My fren's daughter b'day party
and oh ya.. It's Valentine's day (boring!!)

Sunday:
Bum photoshoot
Dinner with parents
Visiting my nephew (woohoo)
I promised An to play lego.. heheheh


p.s: Husband will be werking frm home again!! and guess wad?? I gott to take publice tmr morning!! urgh!!!
ou.. btw, I'm heading to my MIL tmr... damn!

At with my Fat Ass HUSBAND!!

Yesh!! both of us are at home now. He left for werk at 8.00am, went in the office and tinks that he's not in the mood to werk and tada!!! he at home since 9.30am!! FAT ASS!!!

Had breakfast with me here at home, watched dvd (yes i noe.. Again?!?!) and he turn on the computer to do some work and now.. he's watching another dvd!!!

Im so freaking bored at home. I did ask him out but as usual, it got a disappointing answer!! uRGH!! anyway we got a birthday bash later at 7.30pm. It's my COE birthday today and im gonna make sure i won't over eat if not.. wadever i've done fer the passed tow day will be in the drain...

Peiming say i gotto take it slow.. we dun wanna over do it.. do moderately... yeah i noe.. No pain no gain but u noe wad.. every time i did my werk out i got asthma attacked! urgh!! so.. tmr, will be another day in the gym. Hopefully we don't stop the momentum of the gym schedule tingy... My gym kaki's ROX!!!! we are like bimbos, did gym and gossip at the same time.. LOL~! wad's new!! we gossip like anytime and anywhere!!

Ok.. can't blog much.. my arms are aching, my tight are hurting and my ass is crying.. ahhhhhhh!!! once again.. no pain no gain!!

P.s : I HATE SITTING AT HOME!!!!!!!!!!!!
watsed my day off! Urgh!! i really wish he's at werk!!

ALOHA!!


Good Morning everyone... yea, im early again today. gonna have staff meeting later at 9.30am. Im feeling so much better from my Unnecessary stress.. (ehm...) and today gonna be a better day. I dun know why lately, I'm feeling tired but couldn't sleep. This is so frustrating. maybe it's my new pillow but it's been almost 3 weeks... i should have got used to it.. haiz.....

Last night, husband share some sad news to me about his family.. i really hope everything will be fine.... I'm here fer u dear...

Anyway... today, i wanna be happy... werking happily

Please make my day...

Valentine's Day is just around the corner...

If your looking for gifts fer you love one,
Stop cracking your brain...

Grab some of these...

http://ladybeadz.multiply.com/

http://flowersappeal.com/

Unnecessary STRESS!!!

Yesterday at 12.00 noon I got phone call from parents "sharing" her view about the pattaya trip. Honestly... i guess it was a disasters.. tell me about this and that.. and you know wad?? he funny thing is... IT'S NOT EVEN FROM MY DEPARTMENT!!!!!!!!! aarrrrggghhh!!! My bosses told me to have a good rapport with teachers n parents but when they come to you and start tell you about your co worker... It's KILLING ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! now, it's a BIG ISSUE!!! why do you have to got me involve?!?!? I was in dilemma the moment she told me about it.. "should i share it with the management or not?" but i did... just to play safe. but it's not really safe.. im in deep shit rite now...!!! over all... It's an unnecessary STRESS!!!!!

Yesterday, after werk, we headed doing to NTUC to buy stuffs fer our lunch. chicken ham sandwich. Starting to be healthy but not a healthy freak! and Im not planning to loose too much weight immediately. coz when i looked ard me, the ppl who loose weight fast.. are very temperamental.. im so not going to be one of them..

after that, when home straight, dinner and watched dvd. a very sad sad movie... 7 Pound
I hate the movie, it made me cry and i mean it.. i really cried..

Alrighty.. got to make my breakfast now..
HAPPY WORKING JAL..!!!

Husband and I just finished watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall. They were like acting in Hawaii and u noe wad?!? I SO WANNA GO HAWAII!!!!! ehmm before that, I got to over come my fear getting on the plan.. LOL!!

Anyway, we went to Eunos today and i had a great fun with Fafa. She's really a cutey pie. Initially i didnt like her so much but lately, i just find her adorable. Well I think im gonna get her some pretty dresses and lagging. I totally like gurl wearing dres with lagging.

She has baby power on her palm and
she's trying to put on eye shadow on me..


She got pretty excited when ever i took out my camera!!

And ya i noe, she looked like tepong komak!! hahahAnd hell yes! I look disgusting!!
LAstly.. we had great fun taking pictures...

After Eunos, we meet mama, abah, along n abg Acit at Changi. My bro in-law got obsess with fishing now and their purpose to changi was to get a new fishing rod and some fishing equipment. Dad gotta new kaki.. heheh.... hope abg acit new hobby will bring him closer to dad.

Tmr will be back at werk and husband will be sending me to the office early again tmr. We might be going to Changi Sailing Club tmr. but i told myself, I gotta cut down drinking...

yerp.. tat's all fer now.. Good nyte (-_-)

Hey, hey...

Im in facebook just now and did a few test ppl send it to me and apparently I find it quiet cool

Test 1 : which cartoon characters am I
after i answered a few questions, my answer is : Cinderella (how cool)

Test 2 : Which type of women am I?
and the answer is : Sexy Popular Giirl
Everyone knows you. You look great and know this. You use this advantage and sometimes get in trouble with jealous girls because of that. You have many friends, female like male, but no or only a few really deep relationships. You don't know that theres a beauty inside of every woman, that is deeper than any physical beauty. Try to find your inner strengths and charm so you can shine from the inside out. :) Try to be kind and helpfull. Don't always think about yourself or your look - it is the inner woman people are waiting to see of you!

Ain't they cool....

Anyway.. husband Hp been ringing since 8 bloody am in the MORNING and disturb my beauty sleep. Woke up at 12, had brunch and start cleaning my hse. Watced dvd and now, blogging. ya i noe, broning weekend (urgh) and now, husband is now stucked on the couch watching prison break season 4...

Tmr is even worst, gott to go to Eunos Ughhh!!
I totally hate my life.

Alrity, gott go now.. I going fer my brisk walk.... c ya!!

today we made a pointless trip to johore. Headed straight to Danga Bay to get some dvds i just find it rushy. Went to one of the restaurant (which i forget the name) to have dinner. I didnt even took a shot of it. Husband were deciding is we should go to my MIL hse or not.He was so worry they might come over and spend their life here. My heart' burned when i saw him in that situation. when i asked, he gave me the lamest reason i ever heard but at the same time.. i noe, deep down his heart he knows tat i would feel uncomfortable. well,Unfortunately.. we did went over to MIL hse to try to settle the ISSUE. but wad can i say.. it can never be settled. but the great news is... MIL didnt come over n stay (phew!)

When i reached MIL hse, Fafa ran to me and gave me a huge. huge hug! Husband n I were really surprised by her reaction. she even went to my back, hug me again, strok my hair and say.. "antik..." mingled wit my earring and say "anik..." i was totally supried. How sweet... but like my fren say... "im Sexis! hah basically, I dun like gurl!! hahah

I got an Irritating, rude called frm my SIL just now... I almost fucked her. thank god my MIL were in my car...

I looked away ; biting my lip in a quest to transfer the pain.

Still hurts anyway.

Byt honestly, i didnt wanna put husband in a very difficult situation...

I Love U dear...

ok.. I've speak my mind n heart out.. gotto go n sleep now.. Nytez..

Enough of working for the passed 8 day, and here im at resting at home.

I took my off in lieu today, follow by the weekend. back to werk again on Monday.

Yesterday at werk was fine, I manage to complete my mission of decorating the boring High Participation notice board with pretty pictures and i think i dun feel satisfied. Gonna do some touch up real soon.

Before i knocked off from work yesterday i was in a weird mood disorder coz i have loads to finished up before i could end my day. After tat, headed down to KK.

Met my Gyne. there's so much that I just understand, so much that seems like it should be explained, but at this point they're things we have to realize for ourselves. Even the questions can't be asked in words.All that i noe, It's not as easy as we tot. Had another appointment on the 28 for my blood test. and husband got his on the 18 Feb. and the next appointment will be on the 5 March. Hopefully, the chance fer me to get preggy will be higher this time. after all.. Time will tell...

Heading to Johore later, husband will pick me up at 6pm. Gonna get some stuff der, dinner and back home. I shall take a nap later...

Tat's all fer now...

I miss u Hafiz n An....

Deceived not, almost had a heart attack when i went in the toilet this morning. I having my menz!! ouh gosh.. will this affect my gyne check up tmorrow??

Went in office at 8.30am today. at 10.00am we had our first Aid retraining. everything's fine. I called my gyne n asked if t's ok to come over fer a check up when im bleeding? she say it's fine.. so tomorrow will be visiting my Gyne at 7.40pm.

Husband is at home now.. he's werking frm home today n tomorrow. Hopw nice!








I saw you You saw me
Thats when I needed you

Think I'm feeling better, I have manage to get better from the constipation .

Today is a bz day, had meeting at 9.30am n i almost finished the things i wrote on my to do list. I dun plan to finish it. My mind is chocked and i can't do any of my werk now except for, blogging.. LOL!

Had lunch at parkway today, The van wasn't ard, roy drove us to Carpark H to cope husband's car.. hehhehe. (thank yo husband... Lunch will borning without your car.. lol) after lunch, we went for a quicky cheapo trial of the OSIM U Crown. was quiet attempted to buy. but i know, husband wont be happy. so try try pon jadik lar. Btw, i had Yong Tau fo at parkway B1 today.

Yesterday after werk, Uncled edwin, husband n I headed down to Changi Sailing Club for a quiet and chilling drinking sessio. And of coz, the place is better off den georges.

After tat, we went Changi village for late late dinner. we had Nasi lemak of coz. den head back home washed up and Zzzzzz

Going to mama hse after werk.... kinda miss belang.... Gonnna give her a big big hug soon..!!

did i ever said that I good at taking pictures out on water?? Trust me.. I am!!

You live to dream and sleep to forget.

The rapture of being alive : very few hear with their own ears and feel with their own hearts. Thoughts unspoken forever and now ; I'll close the book and take my bow.. in perfect pretence.

it's the first time in 2009 and by an unbelievable stroke of luck, here I am werking in the office without mother Superior and brother Superior. One for the luck day i guess. I'm going enjoy every bits of the day with, ah tong n mum... an awesome day....

tummy started feeling uncomfortable again having this horrifying constipation. how i wish i could shit it out really soon. It's been 3 days...

Valentine's day is around the corner... Hmm... wad's the paln? could this be another disappointing year fer me.... time will tell.

As i'm walking my mind, my heart n mumming this song....
Everytime i see you falling, I get down on my knees and pray.
Waiting for that final moment you, say the word that i can't say.......